How to be generous without being a doormat

I cannot say ‘no’ to anyone – what if I offend them? This would be most women, right?

Women love to nurture others and quite often find it hard to say “no”, meaning we say ‘yes’ to a lot of things and sometimes to even things we don’t like or don’t want to do. May be it is thing wired into women – to be nurturers.

I have always been a big fan of the example – When on an aeroplane, and in case of emergency, fit your own oxygen mask first before you can help someone else. Your life is pretty much the same! If you want to have a happy existence, you need to take care of yourself first. And that means you need to learn to say ‘NO’.

What is the worst thing that can happen by saying no? Here are some things I can think of

  • Your children think you are the worst mother
  • Your partner thinks you have gone crazy!
  • Your friends think that you are not feeling well (because you always say yes and this is the first ‘no’)
  • Your colleagues think you’ve turned nasty and selfish
  • Your parents think you are being a disobedient child (after growing up, still a child?? Don’t you wish you can be a child? LOL)
  • Blah blah blah

In each of the scenarios above, the key word is “think”. Someone else thinks or may think those things about you.

But let us look at reality. Are you really those? Tap deep into yourself and ask if each and everything you do is serving you, making you happy or unhappy! Ask this simple question every single time. If your answer to this simple question is a ‘yes, I’m happy’ (you have to be honest here) and not inwardly cringe, then go and offer your help.

If something someone asks feels like it is not for you, be bold and say “NO”. At first, they may get offended, but eventually people will learn to respect you, your time and your decisions. And the best thing is you will be very Happy too!

Note that I am not suggesting you get away from all your duties (as a mother, friend, partner and so on). This is all about not doing things you don’t want to do!

So, what is the one thing that you are going to say ‘NO’ to. Comment below..