The stories you tell yourself will make or break you

Have you ever tried calling a friend after a long time and your call goes straight to voicemail? You wait for a couple of days hoping your friend will call you back. Even after a week, nothing. You decide to try one more time. Again, the call goes to voicemail.

Now, your mind operating the way it does (for most people), starts making meaning. You think maybe you offended your friend some time ago and that’s why you haven’t heard back. Another week goes by and yet no callback. By now your mind has convinced you that something is seriously wrong and makes up more stories. But life gets busy and you keep going on.

One fine day, your friend calls and says hello. She explains how it has been a few difficult weeks and she has had to deal with a tough personal situation.

You are then relieved that all the stories you made up were….. just stories.

If a simple phone call can make your mind play tricks on you, imagine all the stories you have around your health, life and more importantly, wealth.

I can’t work part-time and earn good money.

I can’t be in my dream job and earn what I am earning now.

I have to sacrifice my personal life to be successful at work.

If I buy this dress, I will get that promotion.

I have to starve myself to be skinny (as if skinny is always equivalent to healthy).

Everything that you want to achieve but haven’t yet is mostly because you are telling a story, to yourself, that is not true. If you tell yourself that the money you earn is low because <insert whatever excuse that comes to you>, then, that is a story.

This is why being super-conscious is so important. It is hard to catch yourself telling these stories, but there is a simple way to get started.

Next time when you want something and your mind comes up with excuses, stop for a minute. Ask yourself, is it true or is this a story? For example, if you want to buy an expensive purse and your mind says you can’t afford it, it may or may not be true based on your current situation. If it involves another person, and there is no confirmation from the other person about the story you are making up, then it is a story. Here’s an example.

I was talking to my sister the other day and she said she goes to this dance class and has become an expert at the moves. One day, a newcomer came and took position beside her. The story my sister made up was that the newcomer thought my sister was not a good dancer because she was not skinny. I asked her if the lady told her that she thought my sister was a newbie. The answer was ‘no’. My sister just made this up in her head. As we went through this scenario, she said maybe the girl took position next to her because my sister had a welcoming face. She really doesn’t know the actual reason, but what my sister initially thought about what the girl thought about her – was a story.

This is deep mindset stuff and sometimes, you need a guide to help you get that breakthrough. If you feel there is some limiting belief aka story holding you back, it will be my pleasure to not only help you identify the story but also to replace it with a better belief.

If you have a story to share about this and how you’ve overcome your struggle, I’d love to hear from you.


Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash